awesome christmas eve dinner at cantina

From Christmas in Cambodia

Courtesy of Cantina on Sisowath, I got to have an absolutely fantastic home-made (well, bar made, but here, that IS home) Christmas dinner. Don't cry for me, Argentina. I ate four plates of this amazing stuff. Where did they find real cranberries? The rolls are home-made. There was brie, people. Brie. Four turkeys. Ham. Sweet potatoes. Dressing. Real actual pumpkin pie. And the best part? On-call Jim Beam with my meal.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Here's Jet showing the turkey who's boss.

From Christmas in Cambodia

That turkey died a hero's death.

From Christmas in Cambodia

The entire spread in yellow hues. The decor in this bar is sort of Pancho Villa movie chic. I like it.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Not just ham. But sexy ham.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Seasons greetings from sweet potatoes with marshmallow. Yes.

happy christmas from the raffles

From Christmas in Cambodia

The Raffles Hotel was decked out extremely tastefully for Christmas. I walked inside and felt sort of like I was in a San Francisco luxury hotel for a second and got very nostalgic. They were remarkably nice about me taking photos of their Christmas decorations like a big freak. I want to go to the Elephant Bar soon. The Le Royal is a big part of Cambodian history and was The hotel in town until the Khmer Rouge took over- it was a very happening place during the French era. During the KR invasion, many people holed up here, including a profusion of journalists, which you'll know all about if you've seen The Killing Fields or read any of the books on the era. It's a helluva beautiful hotel.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Daniel Southerland, the photographer who covered the 1970 KR invasion of Christmas and stayed at the Le Royal while doing it, wishes you a Merry Christmas. (I don't actually know if he does or doesn't, but his photo has been appropriately festived. If you're reading this Dan for some bizarre reason, I apologize in advance and hope you have had a wonderful day).

the house christmas band

From Christmas in Cambodia

The band at Nagaworld appeared to be about my age and profoundly uncomfortable with the Christmas carol concept, being more used to belting out Khmer ballads and Lady GaGa covers at 3 AM. But they managed to memorize and execute a number of the staples, albeit with entirely too many Rs. Bless them. I wonder what they were thinking about.

From Christmas in Cambodia

It's really quite an impressive stage. They trotted out small cute children earlier to work their way through Jingle Bells. There's some sort of Christmas MEGABUCKS type raffle going on as well, I believe.

From Christmas in Cambodia

The milling crowd as seen from above. Tons of people are coming into Nagaworld just to check this impressive tableaux out. I can hardly blame them. It would be reasonably impressive in a major American mall, and here we are in Cambodia. My.

From Christmas in Cambodia

I would like to add that the keyboardist is in heavy contention for Raddest Mofo in Cambodia status. Just sayin'.

santa of indignation

From Christmas in Cambodia

The same inflatable Santa is making the rounds this Christmas. I was at the Central Market the other day to buy shoes, since my last pair of shoes has finally given up the ghost-I mean, we're talking about flapping soles, rendering me sad-hobo like and tragic in the streets of Phnom Penh- and I went down there and noticed a few stalls selling Christmas decor, to Khmer customers. Little Charlie-Brown like faux trees and lots of sparkly stuff. Faux snow. (IT'S EVERYWHERE). And that same inflatable Santa.

There's an enormous, apartment building sized Santa Claus on Monivong. This pleases me inordinately. (If I was 15, I would be plotting its destruction in the name of capitalist insurrection, but thankfully for everyone, I'm not anymore).

festivus clothing

From Christmas in Cambodia

Christmas clothes for kids on sale along Sisowath. I asked a Khmer lady I know what she thought about Christmas. She said she hadn't really considered it until she started working with Westerners. "It's mostly for the teenagers, the kids," she said. "Me...I'm old." (She isn't).

This may be case-in-point. Give this 5 or 10 more years and Christmas will be thoroughly entrenched in the hearts and souls of Cambodia's youth.

Either that, or there are going to be more then a few kids in Cambodia forced into these outfits for humiliating photo ops this year.

From Christmas in Cambodia

I would like to add that, for the record, I own the Santa hat on top. And verily, did I go out drinking in it, and more verily, did every moto guy I walked by scream MERRY CHRISTMAS at me, and verily, did a British guy almost steal it but (in the sight and knowledge of the Lord), I did get it back. And it smells sort of like whiskey now.

the star that rose in the east (great deals on soy drink)

From Christmas in Cambodia

She's a pretty girl.

From Christmas in Cambodia

The 24 Hour Shop employees are all wearing staff-issue Santa hats. They're playing Christmas carols at really high RPM in the shop too. A group of Cambodian schoolboys were in there today, drumming off-beat on the counter top along to what sounded like a Vietnamese (in English) cover of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Some people have said that this is the most Christmas they've ever seen in Phnom Penh. Guess they'll know all the words next year, too.

christmas in the girlie bars

From Christmas in Cambodia

Street 104. It's one of Phnom Penh's girly-bar streets. You've got the Pickled Parrot, Zanzi-bar, and a bunch of places with cutely euphemistic names. The girlie bars around here cater to a lot of forigners, and they really kick ass when it comes to Christmas decorations. Buckets of tinsel and ribbon? You name it, they've got it. Shiny ornaments and tinsel and Santa hats with your gin and tonic? Bring it on, baby.

They're all about the same inside. There's a bar, a television playing pop videos, and a whole lot of girls. You don't necessarily have to be on "a mission" to hang out at these places - I'm a heterosexual female and have had more then a few drinks in these environs. In an odd way, I like girly bars. I don't get that many chances to interact with young Khmer women my age. They are most definitely here. They're often pretty interested in me. Where I'm from, what I do, why I'm in Phnom Penh. They're usually nice girls who speak good English. And the people watching at these establishments: choice. (One Russian guy! 20 Khmer girls!)

From Christmas in Cambodia

I'd be the last person to judge what they do for a living. If I was 22 years old, poor, and living in Phnom Penh, I don't doubt that I'd be doing the same. They're good people in a very difficult situation, or at least a healthy number of them.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Phnom Penh has a permanent population of what are usually termed "sexpats" for reasons that should be really, really obvious. Many of them seem to spend most of their waking hours at these bars, moving from one to another in a circuit known only to themselves. I've talked to a few of these guys before - they're often pretty amiable - and they're usually some sort of IT or business type from the US or Britain who decided to chuck the rat race, cash out, and move to Phnom Penh. And spend all their waking hours in girlie bars of one sort or another. A lot of these guys end up opening restaurants or bars to make some cash on the side. They often seem to end up with one (sometimes two) steady girlfriends. Some say the life expectancy of a sexpat is pretty low. I haven't been here long enough to be able to tell. Some of them look lost as hell. 100 mile stares. Somehow I'm not surprised.

This is supposed to be Christmassy, so I'm just going to say "Mary Magdalene" and stroke my beard thoughtfully for a second.

Ok? Done.

KFC and Christmas

From Christmas in Cambodia

KFC is the Mothership of Fast Food Chains, the Big Mama, the all-encompassing entity. This isn't usually apparent to Americans, but leaps out at those who have taken up residence elsewhere. They are absolutely everywhere - I saw one in the Western Chinese city of Urumqi, for God's sake—and they are also incredibly popular. KFC (or rather, its owner, Yum Brands) has an incredible genius for tweaking its menu into whatever the locals *really* want it to be.

Thailand features green curry and sundaes that are made to look like tropical oceans. (Ew). India has paneer and various masala-preparations on the menu. The USA, has, you know, those X-treme Biscuit Bowl things with enough calories to fee an Indian family.

Cambodia has only had KFC since 2008, and I believe it was the first major fast-food chain to open in the country. Cambodians have quickly caught up to the rest of the world and have throughly embraced KFC. Cambodia's KFC variant mostly features fried chicken with rice and the addition of hot sauce if you so desire, and Khmers just plain love it. The KFC at the Pencil Supermarket on Norodom is packed to the brim at all hours with Khmers, many of them students availing themselves of the free wi-fi and families picking the kids up from school.

KFC adorns itself in Christmas plumage with a vengeance around here, and they're also offering Christmas specials to lure in the festive-feeling Khmer population. I haven't been quite desperate enough to eat at KFC while I've been here, but the allure of popcorn chicken and incredibly yellow corn will probably lure me in at some point. You won't be hearing about it.

You know what's really tragic? They don't sell the biscuits here in Cambodia.

the tiger beer tree

From Christmas in Cambodia

The Tiger Beer Tree phenom is here, and my brethern, it is real. Nothing gets more real then a lit-up tree made up of drained beer-cans. (Actually, not sure if they are drained or not, though that's a travesty against all alcoholic-kind if they still contain the demon beverage). There must be some sort of template for these magical edifices circulating around town since I have seen more then one of them. I desperately want to build my own.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Another Beer Tree at Mao's. I can't believe anyone would find these glorious beer-trees offensive. It's just a combination of the ancient holiday of Saturnalia and bacchanalia, right? Come on, isn't Christmas once you hit age 17 or so largely an excuse to get wasted with people you like (if you're lucky) after getting some new stuff? I think the Beer Tree symbolizes the secular, fun-loving, and glorious heart of the season. The Beer Tree should fill us all with seasonal wishes and hope for a bountiful future.

Also, whoo, note that creepy-ass eye from a Moby video.

david bowie and christmas lions

From Christmas in Cambodia

The Lyon d' Or French restaurant on Street 110 has, not surprisingly, a bit of a lion-themed decor scheme. The lions are appropriately decorated for the holiday. Something about the juxtaposition of dubiously produced and gold-colored lion statues and sparkly Christmas regalia pleases me immensely. I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR FACE OFF WITH HOLIDAY CHEER, he is saying to you. Cheerfully.

From Christmas in Cambodia

This lion reminds me of David Bowie. I think it's the stenciled-in eyebrows.

From Christmas in Cambodia

Standing guard over someone's bicycle. I need to purchase a bicycle. I was debating between buying a really good zoom lens for my camera or a motobike for Christmas. I ended up concluding that a zoom lens was somewhat less likely to kill me then a moto. I just have this vision of getting the moto, having a few celebratory drinks, forgetting about my new toy, then getting on it and driving it straight into the river in a wide and glorious arc. Now that will draw a helluva crowd.

From Christmas in Cambodia

The wide, staring, blue and vaguely Asian eyes are what really make this Santa for me.

Actually, he reminds me of David Bowie too. It's the gold sparkly aspect.

tree and girly bar

From Christmas in Cambodia

Woman selling food on Street 104, in front of the many girly bars near the Pickled Parrot (that really clean place that feels sort of like Dayton, Ohio inside and has incredibly complex pool game rules that no one ever follows, you know, that one). The one with the blonde hair is having her lunch and jockeying for space with a large and sparkly tree. Did I mention that no one decorates quite as aggressively or as well as the girly bars?

I asked my Khmer language teacher today what your average Cambodian-on-the-street thinks about this Christmas thing.

"Oh, they love it!" he said. "More people are celebrating Christmas now then are celebrating Khmer New Year—I don't know why. Maybe it's more fun."

"So, what do you think about Christmas?" I asked.

"It's good. It's happy. It gives people a good feeling. It's not a bad thing. Something happy."

"So do many people celebrate?"

"Oh, yes. Wait until December 24th, 25th, you will see. Many families giving each other presents, eating a lot."

"Do Cambodians get really drunk on Christmas? I know Americans do."

He snorted and shot me an "are you kidding" look. Of course they do.

You can rail against Westernization and the pervasive inroads of a corporate and cynical holiday all you want, but if Cambodians are having fun with it....more power to them. Can we in anyway argue that Christmas (for most people) has become a secular holiday, anyhow? The Christ has already been taken out of Christmas. What's left is the fun stuff. And, again - what's wrong with that?

christmas photobomb

From Christmas in Cambodia

I was walking by Jaan on Sisowath and asked the waiter if I could take a picture of their Christmas tree. He agreed to this and decided he wanted in on the picture at the last minute. I think he was under the impression I had a zoom lens and could actually get everything in, except I just have a 50 mm lens and a willingness to walk backwards a lot. (I am going to get hit by a car while using this thing). I think of this as the Most Festive Photo Bomb ever, mostly. Look how happy he is, damnit.